I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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