my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I woke up under a house in Key West
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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