i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
