Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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