how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
