on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol hangovers are for mortals.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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