This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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