You're my little dorito
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
