I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
