i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
