This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
