they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
