Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
