The maid of honor just puked.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize