i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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