im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I would fuck him just for his dog
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
