The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
