woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
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