also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
