took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
