i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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