you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
