So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
