His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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