My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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