Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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