Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
well you can't waste a boner
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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