problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
