You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies