She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
you never un-have a 4some
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa