ADVERTISEMENT

• (516): View more from New York

  Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.

  Fav 8 1009 2226

  share tweet
  

• (573): View more from Missouri

  she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight

  Fav 27 6862 1206

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (323): View more from California

  We should be called the Road Head Warriors

  Fav 15 3579 949

  share tweet
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator

  Fav 17 8015 918

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.

  Fav 20 6269 1561

  share tweet
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time

  Fav 57 1393 8107

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm never eating chinese again.

  Fav 11 1117 4726

  share tweet
  

• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..

  Fav 14 1747 4212

  share tweet
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.

  Fav 4 3334 1006

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (226): View more from Ontario

  wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.

  Fav 8 1944 1386

  share tweet
  

• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I have a theory he's part Neanderthal

  Fav 11 986 828

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (954): View more from Florida

  I'm driving while wearing hulk hands

  Fav 9 2094 915

  share tweet
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.

  Fav 1 828 658

  share tweet
  

• (571): View more from Virginia

  We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick

  Fav 2 743 438

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.

  Fav 0 608 392

  share tweet
  

Randomize