We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
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I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
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Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.