Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
