Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
