So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
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Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
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That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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