wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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