We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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