She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
