The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
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