We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
