peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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