can we get nightvision for the apartment?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
