The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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