By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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