sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
