Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
