i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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