just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
