I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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