Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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