He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
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once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
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And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"