it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered