He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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