I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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