i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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