i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
