when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
