The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
