just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
