was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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