Jerry, you need to find god
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
