So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
