I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
